So scared of getting older. I'm only good at being young.

I take on the mood of the music I'm listening to. I have no reason to be anything but happy right now, but for some reason John Mayer is making me depressed. I suppose I do have a bit of a reason to be upset right now. Everyone I know is either jamming out to, or will be jamming out to, RJD2, Iron & Wine (Can you jam out to him?) or the Photo Atlas. Here I am pouting, sitting here, hoping no one comes to ask for something.

I have so much work to do but find very little motivation available at 8:30 p.m. on a Saturday night. Instead I'm going to listen to John Mayer and think very deep thoughts. I can relate so much to "Stop This Train." Life is moving too fast. Everyone is changing. I thought I liked change, but it actually scares me. Especially my own changes. I'm so busy all the time and then I have these moments where I stop and just say "Man, I'm in College." When did this happen? When did I actually make it all the way through middle school and high school? What happened to all my friends? Where did my family go?

The line that has made me cry more times than am willing to admit is:

"Once  in a while when it's good, it will feel like it should. And they're all still around and you're still safe and sound. And you don't miss a thing till you cry when you're driving away in the dark."

I've had so many of those moments. Especially when it comes to my family. It's so hard to let them go...

I'm OK now. I'm listening to "Clarity" which is a bit on the happier side. Plus there as awesome jazzy moment that my brother and sister and I used to all stop and blast every time we heard it on the radio. Damn I miss them more than anything. 

"Did I sail through or drop my anchor down?"

Well... maybe I will try and do some work... maybe I'll stop and think about how much fun life is right now. So much fun, so exciting... I'm incredibly blessed.